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My Own Reckoning

Can we talk about the practice of making space for what’s really important in our lives? Like being happy and oh, I don’t know… SURVIVING?

I recently read a wonderful article about wanting a mediocre life. It spoke to me immediately. After a lifetime of chasing MORE and it never being enough, I finally saw that what I really wanted all this time was…

Ordinary. Average. Simple. Basic. Less.

It was the most freeing sensation I’ve had in a long time. It was the permission I needed to acknowledge that limiting my life is the way to my own freedom. Have you ever experienced an awakening like this in yourself?

For almost five years I’ve been trying to make a difference, often at the expense of my peace, my joy and my LIFE – if I’m being honest. I don’t know where cancer advocacy begins/ends and hence where I begin/end. Who I am anymore, after these years of struggling to come to peace with my own cancer experience on top of all my efforts to confront a world that doesn’t focus enough on cancer, is still hard to figure out – honestly.

I am not JUST an advocate or a patient or the co-founder or editor of a magazine. I’ve been so busy filling my space and time since my own diagnosis that I’m suffocating. I’m shallow breathing instead of taking deep belly breaths. The kind that restore us, fill us.

I’ve been so busy trying to be extraordinary – the way people make it seem you should be after you face cancer. But I’m not. I don’t even really want to be. I want to be basic – content. What if we all stopped putting the pressure on ourselves to become the best, fiercest, loudest, most recognizable advocate, fighter, survivor, sharer of information, storyteller, writer, etc.? It’s okay to allow each other to be just ok, good rather than great – average. Average is wonderful.

I know this reckoning I’m experiencing will undoubtedly come through on the pages of The Underbelly and in the lines of the stories I tell and I’m really looking forward to how good that’s going to feel. Cancer complicates our lives so quickly and so relentlessly. I wonder how YOU TOO can simplify and make more room for the people and things that truly bring you joy and love and fulfillment – no matter what that is.

What if we gave ourselves permission to just be mediocre happy?


  • A creative introvert who mistakenly thought she was an extrovert. A seeker of sorts and purveyor of "me toos". When she's not writing - she's loving on her peeps and furbabies. Friendship, nature and a good antidepressant are her lifesavers.

  • Show Comments (1)

  • Rosemary Giardina

    Amen to this article. Yes, indeed. It’s about doing less, being content in the moment, not running around to please everyone else and running on empty for ourselves…We are good enough, we have enough. We need to take stock and credit ourselves for our every day contributions to this extraordinary life we have been given. The journey is wondrous….

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